music
"boys will be boys baby!boys will be boys!
boys will be boys baby!
boys will be BOOOOOOOYS!!
gimmegimmegimme malice gimme aa-aatention
gimmegimmegimme malice baby gimme a break!
when i say shotgun you say wedding: shotgun! wedding! shotgun! weddiiiiiinnggg!
boys will be boys, hiding in estrogen and boys will be boooooys!
boys will be boys, hiding in estrogen and wearing aubergine dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeams!"
as the band concluded one another of their great hits, the teens and "adults" in their early twenties when wild, crazed by the passion with which they sung their ballad and the truth behind their lyrics. People jumped, yelled, flailed their arms, looked towards the sky, raised their hands in the 'rock on sign' in fealty to the band, cheering, screaming, begging, crying for more.
--and yet she stood quiet. she didnt move. she wasnt even quite staring at anything. she expected for that moment, for those last stanzas, that they would yell the truth she felt. that she would have yelled it to the world as she had before, but with more passion for now there was more reason...far more reason. she expected to be moved, she expected to feel refreshed and invigorated as she had before by singing those lyrics.
but the reality was, that it didnt matter. it was just a song, and no song could capture all she felt. the song had died. she was sad for it too. she had hoped, expected, to feel almost empowered. but it did nothing.
she looked up and to her left and right at the people pushing her, their attention on the stage--and she felt nothing...nothing.
how was the concert sweetie?" asked her mother.
"arent you home a little early?"
im home a lot early actually" she stated as she tossed her keys on the counter top and started to take off her jacket.
laying it on the stool underneath the counter top she walked over to get a glass of water
"did you have fun?"
"the band was good, it just didnt fulfill my...expectations. i guess i just wasnt in the mood tonight, unfortunately" she added.
"well thats too bad. im sorry.
do you have work tomorrow?"
"yeah, 5-10 as usual."
"ok, well im goin to bed. its passed my bed time. i love you sweetie," she said as she hugged her daughter.
the girl smiled as she hugged back, "i love you too mom."
after her mom left the room she took a deep breath and followed it by downing her glass of water. now what?
note: more to come later
posted by The Shadowpax @ 12:35 AM
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